Must be boring, or too full of self pity, or depressing

I was just reading some other blogs. I hardly have had any comments to mine. I guess it must be boring, too full of self-pity (of which I have too much) and too depressing. I should start to post some poetry. I don't know much about computers, hence I do not have pictures here, or any other interesting things to share. It is really just my rant about my life.
But, you know, it allows me to let it all hang out without censoring my thoughts, because I am anonymous. I still sometimes censor myself in my hand written journal in the fear that I will die tomorrow and my family will find it. Really, if you knew me in person you would not recognize the person who writes this, because on the outside I smile and laugh alot and appear upbeat most of the time. That is my persona on the stage of life. The great divide, the schizophrenic mind, the split personality between outer and inner. The Pollyanna that I was raised to be vs. the self-centered spoiled crippled kid who hates life because of my fate.