Still hanging in there

I haven't looked to see how long it has been since I have visited here. Things are OK, but the last week or so has been hellish. I ran out of my antidepressant and didn't have the money to get more. I started going through withdrawal only I didn't realize that was my problem. All I can tell you is that my anxiety level shot through the roof, I wasn't sleeping well, and I was having night sweats and then shivering. (Sometimes in the day too). I started to think I wanted to be dead. I thought my problem was what I was going through. I gave in and put the Paxil on my credit card because the local mental health center didn't have any in stock when I went there. I just needed someone to help me, and it felt like no one could or would. Just when things were bleakest a friend called and offered me a temp job in her office. Well, her boss offered it but I found out from my friend first. I will be there until Thanksgiving. I also have a job interview on Wed. of this week. I am hanging in there, day by day.I won't tell you it isn't difficult. A you can tell, it is.

Desperation

Still unemployed, and getting more depressed. I am finding it hard to get up in the morning. Despite those feelings I am keeping busy. I have 3 volunteer jobs now. My bank account went below zero yesterday, and I have about $57 dollars to my name. I went to visit a friend for two days, and had wine at dinner with her and her husband. Then today I got home and got a call from someone more desperate than myself. An alcoholic who has been actively drinking and is now very depressed about herself. She signed herself out of the hospital. No one has ever called me like that before. I did the best I could with her but I felt like I was floundering. I made an agreement to meet her later for a meeting. God, we feel like shit and then someone comes along who is in need of even more help.
My spirit is sad. I need help for myself and my Higher Power put an opportunity in front of me to talk with someone else about why it is important to stay sober, and how to do it.