I haven't been here in a long time. Times have been a little shaky. I am doing better with finaces. I have been getting a little bit of work. Mostly I am working hard to keep busy but I have too much time still. Too much time to ruminate on what bothers me. The weather is getting better, and it actually feels like spring this week.I have been to several medical appointments this past month. Some of it unpleasant. I still don't have a final second opinion on what to do with the bone spurs in my neck. I had an appt. with a neurologist who gave me a new diagnosis: Myofascial Pain Syndrome. My thought was: "NO kidding, I think everyone my age with CP has this. Tell me something I don't know!" All of my joints and several other spots like my chest and shoulder blades hurt when he pressed on them. I would've been thrilled by this news when I was in my late twenties, as I was in tremendous pain everywhere and I didn't have a name for it. Some of my providers thought it was psychosomoatic pain. It got better when I got my scooter. (Using my body less to walk, what a concept!!) Anyway, in my late twenties I was working and going to school--too much. If my body didn't feel any pain I wouldn't be myself, and I wouldn't know what to do with that! It's when it gets screaming in my face that I can't stand it. I'm doing OK mentally though. The weather is nice and I am sober!! .

Where I have gone

I haven't been here in 3 weeks. I haven't had anything to say really. I haven't worked much. I just applied for another job today. I had to go to the local school district's office and it was totally inaccessible! I couldn't believe it! There have to be parents out there who are disabled, who are needing to get into that building. No railing on the stone steps outside, a really old freight elevator that requires major strenghth to open and shut the doors, and if not the elevator, then it requires going up 20 steep steps.
I have been feeling down lately, which is why I haven't written , I guess. I am having an identity crisis now being without steady work, and no kids or partner. A friend told me recently that another woman we know who has CP is wanting to go to the local assisted living place, and she is only 58. I just turned 45, and it stopped me short, making me wonder how long I have to stay active and busy. I don't want to think about it too much! I am trying very hard to stay busy.