Only 3 more days

I only have 3 more days at my job before I leave for good. I am so glad to be leaving my supervisor, but not the children and families I work with, or my co-workers. My co-workers are wonderful people as are the parents. The children are wonderful too--each in their own unique way. They have taught me so much about being human and being beautiful despite what the world at large may think. I am still looking for a job. I think I am going to apply for disability benefits which would then allow me to work part time and not be so exhausted constantly.
I have to admit I am afraid. I am stepping out into thin air. I was very anxious last week, and very sad. I will admit here and now that I had a slip in my sobriety--ingesting some products that contain alcohol, but can be found in the drug store. I could therefore tell myself that I wasn't really "drinking". This alcohol thing is insidious. I have now set myself up for wanting more, because it felt good. One day at at time. I am going to more meetings this week and I got a 24 hour chip last night at a meeting. I took it to work in my pocket and everytime I thought about alcohol I put my hand around it. This leaving of the children and families and my friends at my job is very painful.